BURGER DASH

You may remember that this time last year I had a street race with a mysterious Honda. It inexplicably imploded not far into our highway match, thereby leaving me with an ambiguous victory. The intervening twelve months have been pretty uninspiring, thanks in no small part to the State of Mississippi funneling $7 million of our tax-dollars into over 100 new members of the Highway Patrol. With this, each of the six southern counties saw their Gestapo-like presence swell from 16 to 36 full-time officers. And these new recruits have been patrolling the roads with all the zealousness of the Third Reich, convinced they are saving the world one traffic ticket at a time.

The evening began innocently enough with me picking up my mother for our first visit to the new Edd's Drive-in located in Wade. A Pascagoula family institution since 1953, the residents of north Jackson county have been salivating over their new location since the announcement in 2010. My mom has ridden in my car only a handful of times, so as I pulled onto Highway 63 I instructed her to watch the boost gauge on my Aeroforce Interceptor. I explained that under normal conditions, the boost gauge displays the manifold vacuum pressure, but under full-throttle the number quickly jumps from negative to positive as the intake manifold pressure exceeds atmospheric pressure. After a quick blast through second-gear, I pointed out that the supercharger generated 15.1 PSI but I could tell that number didn't mean a thing to her. Instead, she was just excited that her sun visor was equipped with a mirror.

After a year of inconsistent operation, my cruise-control finally stopped working so I've been having to manually keep the accelerator pedal down until the new part arrives. While this isn't too bad, it's much harder to keep my lead foot at a safe and prudent speed. Previously, I had relied on the cruise-control for this, so it's been a bit of a challenge lately. But as I was squirming around trying to comfortably position the gas pedal, I spotted a sinister-looking Camaro pulling up to the highway.

It was as black as a coal chamber and a vintage model at that. I literally did a double-take because it looked like something I'd see at a classic car show, not roaming the woods in Wade. As I passed by, I glanced behind to see it pull out. Unexpectedly, the backend whip-sawed around. Then it snapped back to the other side as the driver struggled to keep it between the ditches. With driving like that, I was willing to bet that he had me in his crosshairs. However, I maintained the speed limit as I watched him draw closer and closer, until the Camaro's visage completely filled my rear-view mirror.

From the profile, I could tell it was a '69 and I saw the red and silver Z/28 emblem on the grille. But muscle-cars like these are always a gamble; I'd seen enough to know that it could be packing anything from a mild 302 all the way up to a monstrous 454 V8. Still, I wasn't going to let him bully me and if I was going down, it wouldn't be without a fight.

We were stopped at a red light, there was a truck in front of me, and my mind was running through a thousand different scenarios, none of which I hoped ended with me going to jail for street racing. As the light turned green, I cautiously pulled away but couldn't do anything yet with the truck ahead of me. Meanwhile, the Camaro was lurking right behind me, like a black panther waiting to pounce. Around 40mph, the truck moved over, inviting an empty lane ahead. As we passed the truck, the right lane opened up as well, save for a car that was maybe an eighth-mile ahead. Suddenly, the Camaro darted into the right lane and I knew it was now or never. Instinctively, I nailed the throttle and realized I was in a gear too high, fourth instead of third. This observation hit me with stunning clarity as the Camaro roared alongside. And like my life flashing before me eyes, I had a brief moment to reflect on what was possibly wrong with the picture: I recognized that the wrong gear and the extra 200 lbs my car was encumbered with, courtesy of my mother and a full tank of gas, might possibly be the nail in my coffin.

The Camaro was pulling ahead and my front bumper was at his door. I stole a quick glance at the tachometer and saw it was passing 4500rpm, still some 2500rpm before my engine develops maximum power. But up ahead, the solitary straggler in the right lane was looming fast. If I could hold off the Camaro for just a couple more seconds, he would have to hit the brakes and concede defeat.

With my foot flat against the accelerator, and the supercharging continuing to build boost, I froze the angry Camaro from pulling away. Perhaps two-seconds passed-- although it seemed like an eternity-- and the Camaro was hard on the brakes, swerving in behind me to avoid rear-ending the hapless motorist.

"HA!" my mother exclaimed in a surprising outburst of solidarity.

Just then, the turn-off for Edd's was in front of me and I began slowing for it. The Camaro blew past, its full-throttle exhaust an effigy of failure. My mom observed, "There goes your friend!" To which I replied, "He's not my friend, but I bet he sure was shocked that this little four-cylinder kicked his V8 ass!" Some research later turned up that the '69 Z28's solid-lifter 302 was conservatively rated at 290hp but a host of options (twin 600-cfm Holleys with a cross-ram manifold, 4.10:1 gears and Chambered exhaust pipes) made it a potent performer. A quarter-mile time of 14.8 seconds at 101 mph is given which sounds about right for what I saw. Regardless, I'd love a side-by-side rematch in third gear with no passenger and no interference from the local gendarmerie.

Aside from the twenty-minute wait to order, and the forty-minutes to receive our "fast food", dinner at Edd's was unremarkable-- the hamburgers were tiny, the fries were stale and the cold drinks were warm. But the night was certainly memorable for my mother who, at eighty-years young, got to experience her first highway drag race!

Little Red Corvette

Although we all know Prince's Little Red Corvette from his "1999" album is not actually about a car, I still couldn't resist using that song title as it's so appropriate for the Corvette I drove recently. The occasion was East Central's Homecoming parade on September 27th and Victoria was eligible to ride in it since she won "Tiny Miss Hurley 2012" at Old-Fashion Day. I had contemplated using the del Sol but it really wasn't suitable since it's a targa top, and not a true convertible. Fortunately, my brother-in-law's father graciously volunteered the use of his red 1999 Corvette convertible.  

The fifth-generation Corvette, or C5 as it is commonly called, was built from 1997-2004 and to my eyes looks much better than the more-angular current model. The deep-red, sweeping front fenders and signature hidden headlights make it look like it should be wearing a prancing horse emblem instead of a bowtie. In comparison, the C6 has exposed headlamps which don't look quite as exotic. 

Despite driving a lot of performance cars in my life, I've had surprisingly little experience with Corvettes. In college, my girlfriend's mother owned a black '74 Stingray, but I hadn't driven another Corvette since then. Truthfully speaking, the Stingray wasn't anything to brag about as it was very hot, loud, and always breaking down. In what could be considered heresy in the Corvette cult, she traded it in on a Lincoln Towncar.  

At an Auto-Show in 1993, I sat in a new LT1 Corvette and was instantly turned-off by the hard, low seating and the worst visibility this side of a Sherman Tank. Since that time, I've held a preconceived notion that all Corvettes were similarly uncomfortable. So, there was some trepidation as I slid into the black leather seat and proceeded to start the car. The first thing I noticed was that, like Porsches, the ignition is actually on the dash instead of the steering column. I twisted the key and the V8 instantly fired up with a familiar rumble. It settled into a steady idle and I was surprised by how quite it was. There was barely a burble from the four exhaust pipes protruding out from under the license plate. Clearly, the factory exhaust hadn't been touched, right down to the stock catalytic converters.

I grabbed the thick leather-wrapped shifter and pulled it back into reverse. The venerable 4L60-E automatic transmission engaged with a heavy, solid clunk and the Corvette began easing backwards.  After a few feet, I shifted into drive and pulled onto the highway. At low-revs and part-throttle, it felt surprisingly civil and (almost) ordinary. Prior to pick-up, the owner had admonished my wife to exercise caution because he said the rear-end could step-out in the blink of an eye. He clarified that he wasn't so much worried about the car getting hurt as he was my seven year-old daughter. However, in my time with it, I discovered that only with the most careless application of the throttle could the car become dangerous.

Although standard on my 2006 Ion Redline, the C5 was the first Corvette to incorporate a drive-by-wire throttle and speed-sensitive steering. Around some low-speed curves, it felt remarkably stable and planted, and it's no wonder with the nearly ten-inch wide 275/40 ZR-18 tires on the back. Originally, all C5s came with Goodyear Eagle Run-Flat tires which were intended more for weight-savings than performance. On this car, they had been replaced by grippy Nitto tires which I'm sure helped the acceleration and handling even more. 

 

The heart of any Corvette is always the engine, and the C5 was the last to have a small-block 350 under the clamshell hood. Despite the low-tech, overhead-valve design, the pushrod V8 still manages to crank out 345 horsepower at 5600rpm and 350 lb-ft torque at 4400rpm. And thanks to extensive use of composite fiberglass, magnesium wheels, and even balsa wood in the floor boards, the weight is kept at a relatively svelte 3,282 lbs. That low-mass gives it a 0-60 sprint of 4.9 seconds as well as a quarter-mile time of around 13.2 seconds at 109 mph. Top speed of the convertible has been observed by Car and Driver as 160mph, though truthfully you probably wouldn't want to go more than 125mph with the top down. Regardless, those are world-class numbers and despite being more than a decade old, still in line with what a 2013 Camaro SS or Mustang 5.0 will run right off the showroom floor. 

               

With the shiny red paint and just 87,000 miles on the odometer, the Corvette had obviously been well-cared for. And from afar it might even be mistaken for a new model. But one thing's for sure, and that is everyone loves a red Corvette convertible. Whether I was at the high school, the coffee shop, or the Lotta Burger parking lot, it never failed to draw a crowd. As I was driving it home after picking it up, my neighbor who never speaks suddenly shouted "Nice car!" and waiting in the parade line-up, an East Central freshman admitted that it was his dream car. Two teenagers even drove 100mph in their V6 Mustang to catch me for a closer look. There's also the Corvette cachet whereby passing Corvette owners give a friendly wave and smile. Similarly, traffic-blocking maneuvers that would normally elicit an angry honk and a raised middle finger from other motorists are replaced with unprecedented patience and courtesy.  

The afternoon was particularly hot for late September and the parade route entailed roughly three miles through downtown Hurley at nothing more than 5 mph with frequent stops. I cautiously eyed the temperature gauge the entire time but it thankfully never got above 230 degrees (with a redline at 260). However, the cooling fans operated almost constantly and the carpeted transmission tunnel that runs between the two seats radiated enough BTUs to bake a Thanksgiving turkey. Granted, it's kind of crazy to run the air-conditioning in a convertible, but with the ambient temperature in the high 80s and the transmission tunnel doubling as a space heater, I sure thought about it.   

On the highway, with room to run, the Corvette is a red rocket. Plant the throttle at 60mph and the 4L60-E automatic responds with a sledgehammer blow that sends the car hurtling forward. However, the brilliant red paint also makes it as conspicuous around Hurley as a U.F.O. so prudence is advised. The Corvette is actually more fun in town where its tugboat-torque makes for neck-snapping acceleration. The steamroller rear tires dig in and the car shoots ahead like a NFL field-goal kick. 

The Vette really is an everyday exotic. It's sacrilege to admit, but after a few minutes of driving it, you completely forget about the flashy exterior. The seats are comfortable, the driving position is good, and there is ample leg-room. Personally, I've never been a fan of chrome wheels, but they complement the Corvette's flamboyant character. And on this car they look much better than the popular powder-coated or anodized wheels. Visually speaking, perhaps the only thing I'd change is the quadruple tail pipes. I like them, but I'm not fond of the bare stainless steel finish. They definitely could use some chrome tips. The Corvette was also largely trouble-free, except for an episode in my garage when the pop-up headlights wanted to do just that. They seemingly had a mind of their own and it didn't matter if I turned the headlights on or off. Finally, I coaxed them down but I wondered it if was a recurring problem?  

The evening sun was setting and it was time for me to return the Corvette. Despite spending just the afternoon with it, my wife, daughter and I had all grown attached to it. "Daddy, can we keep it?" my daughter asked innocently, as if inquiring about a lost puppy she'd just found.  I laughed and tried to explain to her that as a family, we needed a vehicle with more than two seats and a tiny trunk. But I understood what she was feeling, because I felt the same fondness for it. The Corvette might be the quintessential American sports car, but it's also a great car in general. And if it just happened to have four seats, it would be perfect.           

 

Poison Ivy: Benchmarking Intel's new Core i7 CPU

After a phenomenal four-year stretch, I'm finally as far as I can go on Intel's P45 architecture. I've really savored being able to squeeze this much use out of the same platform and the result is quite a lot of improvements for my new processor, an Ivy Bridge Core i7-3770.

Truthfully speaking, I knew it was time to upgrade when I recently tested a 3.3GHz Core i3-2120 processor in our new entry-level Dell Optiplex 790 workstation. Despite the budget-nature of the PC, the eighteen month-old Sandy Bridge CPU proved to be a tough competitor for my overclocked 3.3GHz Q9650. I figured the i3's newer architecture and same clockspeed would make the single-threaded tests close. But with it being a dual-core, I figured my quad-core would walk it in the multi-threaded tests. However, much to my surprise the two additional threads courtesy of Intel's Hyper-Threading (HT) technology enabled the Core i3 to keep pace. As embarrrasing as it was, the Core i3 with just two physical cores was clearly as fast-- or faster-- than my four-core Q9650. It was a humbling defeat for my once-mighty processor at the hands of Intel's $125 upstart.

MATERIAL SCIENCE

Still, it wasn't altogether unexpected given the architectural enhancements that the i3 is blessed with. In fact, taking into account the specs for both CPUs, it doesn't take Stephen Hawking to see that my new Ivy Bridge CPU is smaller, faster, and more energy-efficient. However, the Q9650 does excel in the equity department as even in today's market it fetches almost as much as my new i7 processor.

CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF

Intel's Ivy Bridge represents five generations (Bloomfield>Lynnfield>Sandy Bridge>Sandy Bridge-E>Ivy Bridge) of engineering improvements over my Yorkfield-based Q9650. It also showcases the world’s first use of tri-gate, or 3D transistors. These 3D transistors literally rise up off of the die to dramatically reduce power consumption while increasing performance. But the most significant of these (for me) is the addition of native USB 3.0 support in the Z77 Panther Point chipset on the motherboard. "Panther Point" is Intel's name for the 7-series line and an onboard USB 3.0 controller means better compatability and higher performance than an aftermarket offering. Additionally, Panther Point enjoys an upgrade to PCI-E 3.0 which doubles the bandwidth from 500MB/s to 1GB/s. Earlier versions such as Lynnfield and Sandy Bridge were limited by PCI-E bandwidth when sharing memory lanes. Finally, the integrated HD graphics is what Intel's most proud of. Chipzilla has been trying to get this right for over a decade, and the HD 4000 Graphics are almost good enough to make people forget about the horrible i740 integrated graphics. However, buying Panther Point for the onboard video is like buying the Bayeux Tapestry to use as a beach blanket. Granted, the integrated graphics are DirectX 11-compliant (and can actually run 3DMark 11) but only a casual gamer would ever use them. Games like Max Payne 3 will always demand high-end discrete graphics.

 

TECHNOLOGY TSUNAMI

My new Gigabyte GA-Z77-D3H motherboard boasts a spec sheet wet with technology at a price that didn't break the bank. Remarkably, it was cheaper than the Gigabyte board it replaced, a GA-EP45-UD3R from 2008. And all three Gigabyte boards I've owned have been rock-solid despite my overclocking antics which is the main reason I bought another one. However, following Gigabyte's history of brightly-hued boards, the wacky blue and white color scheme is definitely an acquired taste. The GA-Z77-D3H is also my first motherboard capable of multiple-GPU gaming, supporting both SLI and Crossfire. Given the inherent problems with juggling dual graphics cards, I think I'll continue with a single-slot solution but it's a nice option if I ever do change my mind.

I'm also admittedly a little behind the times in adopting DDR3 memory. So much so in fact, that a Gateway P-7811FX gaming laptop that I owned in 2008 was equipped with 4GB of DDR3 RAM while my desktop was still lumbering along in 2012 with 4GB DDR2. But with memory prices falling faster than New York propery values after Hurricane Sandy, it's easy to pick up 8GB DDR3 for what I paid for 4GB DDR2 four years ago. And even now, benchmarks prove that 8GB is still overkill so the only real dilemma is picking either 1333, 1600, 1866 or 2133MHz modules. As it turns out, 1333 is on the lowside with a slight performance penalty while 1600 yields the best performance for the dollar. The minor speed increases associated with 1866 and 2133 don't warrant the inflated prices of such boutique memory.

And while I had originally intended to limit my upgrade to just a new processor, motherboard and memory, the project began to speed out of control like a technology tsunami, collecting various other parts along the way. Suddenly, there was a Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi Titanium HD sound card swept up in the frenzy. That was followed by an OCZ Fatal1ty 750w power supply with modular cables and a Samsung 24X DVD burner. Finally, the financial erosion of my bank account ceased with an OCZ Vertex 4 SSD. The logic behind this last purchase was simple: The new processor and memory would only be as fast as the hard drive and I was still saddled with a 7200rpm mechanical model. With an SSD, I had to compromise between speed and capacity so I picked the Vertex. This fourth-generation solid-state drive is one of the fastest available and features sustained sequential reads up to 560 MB/s and writes up to 430 MB/s. The fact it was also chosen for Maximum PC's $15,000 2012 Dream Machine didn't hurt either.

CINEBENCH RELEASE 11.5

My last test of this video rendering software (Version 10) two years ago showcased that clockspeed and core-count are equally important for this punishing benchmark. In fact, this program was voted the most likely to send CPU temperatures through the roof once it got started. Rendering the image is deceptively simple, yet as bizarrely effective as waterboarding. Since my GTX 570 video card was the sole component left over from my Q9650 system, I expected little difference in the GPU-dependent OpenGL benchmark. That notwithstanding, it jumped from 42.57 FPS to 57.48 FPS indicating a 35% improvement. And the actual processor test was exactly twice as fast with the Core 2 managing 3.87 PTS to the Core i7's 7.54 PTS. Here, Intel's Hyper-Threading technology really struts its stuff as both processors have four physical cores, but the 3770's eight threads effectively give it the power of an octo-core CPU.

CONVERT X to DVD 4

Counting the aforementioned eight threads at my disposal, this was the benchmark I was most salivating over. Convert X to DVD is perhaps the most popular and complete suite for burning multiple video formats onto DVD, but waiting for the actual conversion is the most tedious part of the process. With my outgoing Q9650, it took 11 minutes to convert a standard 700MB AVI file to a DVD image before burning. But my new system did the deed in a scorching 3.5 minutes which makes it almost 75% faster! The time savings alone justifies the cost of the hardware upgrade to me.

CRYSTAL DISK MARK 3

A republican was in office the last time I purchased a new hard drive, so this is the sole benchmark I've not used before. The unit was a Seagate Barracuda 250GB 7200 RPM 16MB Cache SATA 3.0Gb/s drive that was plenty fast out of the box. But technology is not stagnant, and mechanical hard drives will soon join the scrap heap littered with other obsolete storage technologies such as 1.44MB floppies and Iomega zip drives. Since 2008, solid-state drives have been increasing in speed and size while prices have been declining. Current fourth-gen SSDs are averaging around $1/GB, although you can get a bargain on earlier models if you don't mind sacrificing some performance and stability. And beyond the synthetic benchmark, the results were reflected in real-world file transfers. For instance, when unzipping a game like Dishonored that is eighty 100MB files, it took my old system 8 minutes. However, with the SSD it took under 2 minutes for the same task. More so than any other upgrade, the Vertex swap was the most dramatic. Can you spot the SSD below? (HINT: Faster is better)

WINDOWS EXPERIENCE INDEX

Admittedly, there are more sophisticated applications for determining overall performance than Microsoft's WEI. But it remains an interesting one nonetheless and can be something of a cruel mistress, heavily penalizing the user for perceived indiscretions. In 2008, despite having a blazing-fast dual-core than ran at 3.6GHz, I was docked several percentage points simply because it wasn't a quad-core. On my Q9650, the overall WEI score is a paltry 5.9 (on a scale of 0-7.9) simply because I was still using a 7200rpm hard drive and the composite number reflects the lowest-scoring component in the system. With the 3770, my subscore was an excellent 7.8 with that going to both my memory and CPU. Once again, it seems I just fell short of maxing out the CPU and Memory categories, possibly because I don't have a hexa-core processor nor an excessive amount of RAM.

OVERCLOCKING

With Intel's new Turbo Boost function, traditional overclocking is taking a back seat. After all, upon startup and regular single-threaded tasks the dynamic overclocking automatically adjusts the speed to 3.9GHz. However, I noticed that in multi-core tests the clock-speed was only dropping to 3.7GHz instead of 3.4GHz, which tells me the Gigabyte BIOS was probably overclocking the processor 10%. Gigabyte does include its Easy Tune software which is supposed to automatically adjust the settings for various overclocks, but it kept crashing Windows. Finally, I disabled Turbo Boost and manually bumped the clock ratio from 34x100 to 40x100 which gave me a steady 4GHz. My system has been torture-tested over the past month with several multi-hour Borderlands 2 sessions and I'm proud to report there hasn't been a single hiccup.

CONCLUSION

In my Q9650 review from 2010, I complained about Intel's flimsy plastic fan and heatsink that has no business shipping with a $300+ processor. Surprise, two years later it's still the same cheap design but at least this time it went on much easier. And even running at 4GHz, the temps rarely get above a frosty 40 degrees celsius so I guess I shouldn't grumble too much. And while I expected the star to be the shiny new Ivy Bridge processor, the real surprise was the Vertex 4 SSD which completely blew me (and my existing benchmarks) away. Finally, I could have gotten a similarly-clocked i5 processor and saved $100, but I opted for the top-tier i7 due to the availability of Hyper-Threading. And as the benchmarks illustrate, it was money well spent!

Royal Purple vs. Mobil 1 Oil Analysis

In the field of commercial motor oils, there's a longstanding rivalry between synthetic brands Mobil 1 and Royal Purple. To the brand loyalists, the competition is every bit as fierce as Ford vs. Chevy, Coke against Pepsi or (locally) Alabama opposed to Auburn. Additionally, advocates of each brand feel compelled to dole out unsolicited advice when they see you buying the offending brand. Recently, when I bought six quarts of Royal Purple at my local Advance Auto, I was practically interrogated by the sales clerk who ended the conversation by succinctly stating, "You should have bought Mobil 1" even though he could present no compelling evidence it was better.     

Although my Ion Red Line came from the factory with Mobil 1 5w-30 in the crankcase, I was persuaded to try the purple stuff by friends, co-workers and in-laws who purportedly gained fuel economy and horsepower just by switching to Royal Purple. Unfortunately, these results were not substantiated by dyno reports and no two engines respond exactly the same. 

The biggest difference I've noticed between RP and M1 is the price. A 5-quart jug of Mobil 1 can usually be found at Wal-Mart for around $25 and it typically goes on sale elsewhere. A current promotion at Advance Auto has 5 quarts and a Mobil 1 oil filter for just $29.99, a savings of more than $20 off their retail prices. Royal Purple, on the other hand, is about as rare as Kobe Beef and just as expensive. It never goes on sale and retailers who do carry it, don't budge off the price which is close to $10 per quart. In essence, I wanted to determine if Royal Purple was worth twice the cost of Mobil 1.

So I figured the best way to settle the dispute was to obtain samples of both Mobil 1 and Royal Purple from my engine after 5,000 miles of use. While it wouldn't conclusively demonstrate a gain or loss of horsepower (a dyno would be needed for that), it would illustrate which provided more protection from engine wear. I had already debunked Royal Purple's alleged increase in fuel economy as after 5,000 miles I hadn't come close to exceeding my all-time high set in July 2011 with Mobil 1. 

One of the criteria Blackstone sets for its used oil samples is that they prefer it come immediately from an engine that has been properly warmed up. Typically, this can be achieved through thirty-minutes of highway driving which helps burn off any moisture and other particulates which might skew the findings. This sounds easy and convenient on paper, but in reality means exposing tender bodyparts to various hot exhaust pieces that can exceed 800 degrees. Furthermore, with the RL on jackstands in my yard and only a couple inches of clearance, it really makes things interesting. Suffice it to say, after two separate oil samples from my car and one from my wife's Ford Freestyle, I'm glad I won't be needing to gather any more in the near future.

I shipped the sample on Monday and by Friday afternoon had the results in my email inbox. While Mobil1 doesn't acknowledge any specific properties in its synthetic oil, Royal Purple likes to point out its patented Synerlec additive which utilizes high concentrations of zinc and phosphorus as anti-wear additives. When guys stand around and toss out the old adage, "They don't build them like they used to", it could very easily relate to today's fancy motor oils.  Tightening emissions requirements are primarily responsible for squeezing zinc almost completely out of new motor oils. The American Petroleum Institute (API) has continuously cut the amount of zinc down to just .08 percent, from .15 a few years ago, and even higher than that in the early '90s.  Royal Purple's Synerlec attempts to correct this by adding more zinc and phosphorous than currently allowed by API-certified oils. They also point out that this should not be used by newer cars still under factory warranty due to potential problems.

The higher levels of zinc and phosphorus are present in the findings below, but surprisingly didn't seem to really help. The flashpoint is also lower in the Royal Purple sample which is not desirable, although in all fairness it is slightly above the minimum value. But the big news is the Total Base Number (TBN) which determines the remaining acid-neutralizing effectiveness of the oil after 5,000 miles. Royal Purple scored a commendable 6.1 but the Mobil 1 sample was nearly 15% higher with a 6.9 TBN.

Disappointingly, the conclusion based on these results is that Mobil 1 is the obvious winner. It clearly provides better protection at half the cost. I had honestly hoped for a better showing with Royal Purple but it wasn't in the cards. It looks like my next oil change will be with Mobil 1.

Caffeine & Octane

I was in Georgia this past weekend and managed to take in Atlanta's largest car show, Caffeine & Octane. Loosely based on the popular "Cars and Coffee" events springing up across the nation, it's an informal event open to all makes and models. While there were plenty of Ferraris and Lamborghinis there, I decided to focus on the really eclectic automobiles. You'll notice that most of these exotics are extremely expensive, exceedingly rare, and from far-flung areas of the globe not typically associated with performance cars.

2013 Shelby GT500: Hiding among the pedestrian Hondas and Toyotas parked away from the event, few onlookers noticed the sinister Shelby. Like a black mamba in the grass, it could be easily overlooked but the 662-horsepower bite from its supercharged 5.8-liter V8 is lethal. Clearly the least expensive here at $54,995, it was so new that it still sported paper tags from Prater Ford in nearby Calhoun, Georgia. And while the new GT500 closely resembles the 2012 model it replaces, the clear tip-off is the absence of a front grill. The cooling requirements of the 202-mph top speed necessitate the removal of the front grill so the Shelby can ingest massive amounts of fresh air.  

Rossion Q1: If the Rossion strangely resembles the Noble M400, it's because the Rossion is a more luxuriously-appointed Noble that utilizes the same twin-turbocharged 450hp Ford Duratec 3.0-liter V6. This is one of two "kit-cars" I spotted at Caffeine & Octane, the other being a Factory Five GTM. However, for the price of $114,900 I would personally prefer a vehicle with a better powertrain and pedigree that didn't come from Port Elizabeth, South Africa.   

Fisker Karma: The Finland-built Fisker Karma is the electric car du jour for celebs like George Clooney and Leonardo di Caprio who want to appear "environmentally conscious" even though they take private jets that burn as much fuel in one hour as driving a car burns in a year. But despite its mega-watt status and $116,000 price tag, it features a surprisingly humble GM Ecotec turbocharged four-cylinder more commonly found in the 2008-2010 Chevrolet Cobalt SS. And even with the Karma's two 200hp electric motors, the portly 5,300-lb curb weight conspires to keep performance closer to that of a Pontiac instead of a Porsche.  

Ariel Atom 500: Embracing Colin Chapman's theology that weight is the enemy of performance, the U.K.-assembled Ariel Atom tips the scales at a flyweight 1,350 lbs, thanks to generous use of carbon fiber bodypanels, chromoly wishbones, Dymag magnesium wheels and Alcon four-piston brake calipers. Motivated by two Suzuki Hayabusa engines that make one 500hp V8, Ariel claims the Atom 500 will accelerate from 0-60mph faster than a Bugatti Veyron. And at an estimated price of $160,000, only 25 will be built this year.

Nissan GT-R: Campaigned by Forged Performance in the 2012 One Lap of America race, this GTR is the recipient of the $28,499 FP800 kit which nearly doubles the stock power from 485hp to 800hp. Among the upgrades responsible for the horsepower hike are larger turbochargers, Injector Dynamics 1000cc injectors, Deatschwerks 300lph fuel pumps and a CBRD 90mm Y-Pipe. Disappointingly, problems sidelined the GT-R during the 3,500-mile race.

2013 Jaguar XKR-S Convertible: The $138,000 XKR-S is not only the fastest Jaguar convertible ever built, all 25 examples of the car allocated for North America sold out in minutes of its debut last fall at the Los Angeles Auto Show. Enthusiasts will also notice that with 550hp from its supercharged V8, the XKR-S is even more powerful than the legendary XJ220.  

Detomaso Pantera: The Pantera, or "Panther" in Italian, was Ford ill-fated attempt at selling an Argentinean import in their Lincoln-Mercury showrooms from 1971 to 1975. Despite moving 5,500 examples during that time, the Pantera was poorly-built, highly prone to rust, and generally undependable. However, that didn't seem to affect their popularity, particularly among celebrities. In fact, Elvis Presley was said to have been so frustrated by his Pantera's lack of reliability that he shot it with his gun. And Nicholas "Razzle" Dingley, the drummer for Hanoi Rocks was killed in 1984 when riding in the Pantera of Motley Crue frontman, Vince Neil. The Pantera started life with a run-of-the-mill Ford 351 producing 330hp but owners quickly moved to larger, more powerful engines such as the carbureated big-block in the example below.

All in all, it was quite a remarkable show, although some new models like the 2013 580hp Camaro ZL1 were conspicuously absent. Initially, we were having trouble finding it until I spotted a $125,000 Corvette ZR1 ahead of us. I hedged our bets that he was heading to the same event, so we dropped in behind him. Sure enough, he led us right to it. And even more exciting than the static display of all the cars, was when they began leaving the meet. Many of them deemed it necessary to "accelerate enthusiastically" upon departure, leaving not only an ear-splitting shriek in their wake but also the sweet perfume of unfiltered exhaust wafting through the morning air. Merging onto the Georgia 400 expressway, a red Porsche 911 flew past being chased by a yellow Ferrari F430. Up ahead, they encountered a light blue, late '60s Mercury Cougar also from the event. Suddenly, it was the Atlanta Olympics with the domestic Cougar squaring off against the Italian Ferrari and the German Porsche. Three lanes-wide, the drag race began and when it ceased, the Mercury had taken the gold medal.
 

Red Alert: Saturn Ion Red Line Two-Year Report

Beginning mileage May 2010: 29,500


Ending mileage May 2012: 46,000

Eight seasons have passed (if you can count the abbreviated winters we have in south Mississippi) and I'm upon the two-year anniversary of my Saturn Ion Red Line. In wrapping up the past twenty-four months, I'll try to omit things I've already covered in earlier emails. Herewith are a couple things I've learned about the Red Line:

*The chiropteran rear wing is more than just a styling exercise. At 70 mph, it generates 23 pounds of downforce. At 120 mph, that rises to 68.7 pounds, and at 155 mph the number is 115 pounds.

*Running the supercharger off the accessory belt means there is virtually no lag as with a turbocharger. However, the drag caused by spinning the blower to 16 PSI is responsible for cannibalizing 50hp.

*Electric power steering saves 0.5 mpg over a conventional belt-driven power steering pump and the system has proved so successful that it is also being used on the 2013 Chevy Malibu Eco.

My wife jokingly refers to it as my "Mid-Life Crisis" car, but in this day and age of Pruises and neutered eco-weenies that only Al Gore can love, there's something alluring and dangerous about a supercharged sports coupe that guzzles the most expensive gasoline and motor oil while ripping down the highway at 165 mph. It flies in the face of convention and is as sinfully hedonistic as Spring Break in Daytona Beach, which coincidentally, is when I picked it up in 2010.

From a purely analytical standpoint, sports cars do not make sense. Typically, the resale is far poorer on a Camaro than a Camry. I know because I speak from experience and when I sold my two year-old Mustang GT, I was floored by the staggering depreciation. Despite bring purchased new, and sold with only 17,000 miles on the odometer, its value was about half the original sticker price.

And so it was with my latest automotive purchase that I had to wrestle with the same quandary. From an economical perspective, it was hard to argue with the efficiency of my 1997 Saturn SC2. Sure, it was old but it was paid-off, returned 35 mpg despite daily trips to the redline, and the insurance and tag were dirt cheap. So the more I ran the numbers on the Red Line, the more worried I became. For starters, it seems any vehicle with a performance suffix automatically equates to more expense. The standard 2.2-liter Ion 3 Quad Coupe has an EPA rating of 23 City and 32 Highway, but the Red Line package slashes that like Obama cutting healthcare benefits to 20 City and 27 Highway (I averaged 26 mpg on my last fill-up). Compared to the fuel economy of my 1997 SC2, that works out to a 110-mile shorter driving distance. And as if that wasn't bad enough, the Red Line doesn't acquiesce to standard 87 octane-- it requires premium unleaded that is 91 or higher. This Evian of octane currently runs forty cents more per gallon so your wallet gets a double-whammy at the pump; not only is fuel economy worse, but the fuel costs more to boot. For me, that works out to an extra eight dollars every week. That might not seem like much until you realize that at the end of the year an extra $416 literally went up in smoke.

But, of course, the cash-littered road doesn't end there. Not only does the supercharged engine demand premium fuel, it also uses synthetic motor oil. That means the $12 jug of generic dino oil on sale at Wal-Mart just won't do the job. Nope, plan on seven quarts (even though the owner's manual incorrectly states six) of full-synthetic 5w-30 Royal Purple at around $10 apiece and toss in $12 for a genuine AC-Delco filter. That's quadruple what it costs to change the oil in my older Saturn and that's doing the dirty work in my driveway. A trip to the dealer for an oil change is easily a $100 affair. For four oil changes a year, that's an extra $200 above and beyond what it costs for the same treatment in my SC2.

When the triple-digit summer temps rolled in, I picked up a bottle of Red Line Water Wetter (which, despite the same name, is not affiliated with my car). Given the $15 price tag for the small 12 ounce bottle, I felt that I may as well be pouring Dom Perignon into the radiator. However, I doubt it would have improved the heat transfer any. In typical GM fashion, the RL's cooling system is on the ragged edge of efficiency and that condition is exacerbated by the South's brutal heat. Even equipped with a Laminova air-to-water intercooler, I tried to stay out of the boost as much as possible since the IAT2 sensor temps get hotter than a Secret Service agent in a Columbian brothel.

It's no lie that the Red Line had to be built on a shoe-string budget before the GM bean counters would approve it. After all, typical focus groups are infinitely more interested in cupholders than superchargers. With that being the case, the Red Line's development budget understandably experienced some cost-trimming. For instance, duplicating the 5.5-sec. zero-to-sixty result found in Car and Driver is discouraged because the RL's clutch has difficulty with even stock power levels, the motor mounts flex like saltwater taffy, and the front axles can snap like toothpicks. Additionally, the designers included some real head-scratching decisions such as sandwiching the intercooler between the a/c condenser and the radiator.

MODIFICATIONS

I remarked about the poor quality of the black vinyl shifter boot and it had continued to deteoriate as my ownership wore on. After the shifter knob cap popped off, I took it as a sign and ordered a $100 boot replacement through Redline Goods (which also has no endorsement with my car). I likewise picked up the e-brake boot and had them both tailored in black Italian leather with medium gray stitching to match the Recaro seats. I was worried they might stick out like a sore thumb, but the end result was fantastic. Unfortunately, the real sore thumb came from prying all the rusty staples out of the stock boot. At the end of the day, I probably should have gotten a tetanus shot after being jabbed so many times.

Another thing I changed is the addition of a $100 trapezoidal Saturn Motorsports aluminum front grille. I have always admired the black intercooler grille on the Dodge SRT-4 and I only added it on my Saturn for protection from bugs and rocks damaging the a/c condenser. However, it does offer the added benefit of really complementing the RL's aggressive front fascia. Interestingly, the stock mounting posts are present in the bumper indicating that at one time, it was under consideration to come so equipped from the factory. I had originally envisioned painting it matte black, but the anodized aluminum finish really harmonizes with the silver paint so I didn't touch it. It also seems well secured, as a recent blast to 130 mph failed to unseat it.

Externally, the fixed passenger-side antenna was a real distraction and also interfered with using a car cover. I removed it and relocated it inside the front fender. This concealed it nicely yet didn't prevent me from listening to my favorite radio stations.

Lastly, it was time to replace the AC Delco wipers I had installed when I bought the RL. The best rated wipers on the market are the Rain-X Latitude blades and it was the first time in my life I've paid $50 for rubber windshield wipers. In fact, the AC Delco set did a fantastic job for $25 so I can't see the Rain-X ones being twice as good, but time will certainly tell.

VROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT

With a dyno-proven 265 hp stock, the RL is hardly a tractor motor, but there's still progress to be gained over the factory setup. GM was very conservative when designing the LSJ powertrain and it shows. The braintrusts that led the company to bankruptcy also equipped the Red Line with undersized 34-lb injectors. Due to their inadequate size, they can't possibly meet the flow requirements for the boosted motor, so the engineers (and I use that term lightly) tried to circumvent this problem by having the engine run stupid rich (10.5 AFR) to compensate for the lack of fuel. But despite this, by 5100 rpm the injectors are maxed out at 100% duty cycle. By 5700 rpm, the AFR is leaning out because the injectors are at their limit, so the PCM begins to pull the boost. At the 6500 rpm redline, the AFR has leaned out to 12.4, the injectors are operating at a staggering 147% IDC, and only 70% of the maximum boost is available.

Not coincidentally, GM offers three Stage kits that address these developmental shortcuts, and help make the car as it should have originally come from the factory. For $775, I ordered Stage 2 which comes with a new engine calibration, 42-lb fuel injectors and a 77.9mm supercharger pulley. I also opted to order the GM Stage 3 pulley ($150) which is just 76mm and good for an extra pound of boost over the Stage 2 pulley. However, I wasn't interested in the more aggressive Stage 3 tune as it is for track use only and, in an effort to discourage street use, disables the air-conditioner. But by purchasing just the pulley, I'm in essence getting the best of both worlds-- Stage 3 performance with Stage 2 comfort.

The hardest part of the whole install was removing the stock supercharger pulley. We tried a three-jaw puller to no avail and ended up using a machine press to remove it. For pushing the hub on, we employed a kit that comes with a metal bushing and different size threaded rods, commonly used for power steering pumps. With the supercharger off, I inspected the rotors, and aside from some natural carbon build-up, they were in perfect shape. I was only able to get about 2 ounces of the supercharger oil out, but what I did get out was pretty dirty, so I was glad I changed it. My mechanic marveled at the blue Stage 2 security bolts that secure the pulley to the hub. He admitted that despite working on GM vehicles for twenty years, this was the first time he had ever seen such an unusual hex pattern.

The new injectors are the most expensive piece in the kit but because they're designed by GM, they use the factory harness and don't require a separate one like aftermarket injectors. Driving it to the dealer to get the new tune, the PCM threw a p0172 code which meant the car was running rich due to the larger injectors but other than that, there were no problems. After $150 for the PCM reflash, the car was better than new.

BOOSTER CLUB

Fortunately, it's easy to forget the ancillary expenses when the supercharger's impeller blades are spinning at 13,500 rpm and the tachometer is slicing towards the red zone faster than you can grab the next gear. With the Stage 2 upgrades, maximum boost jumped from 12 PSI to 16 PSI, a healthy increase that estimates total horsepower right at 300 (A dyno visit is scheduled for this fall). While the peak power and extra torque is nice to brag about, the real increase in acceleration comes from the fact that the power gains are present throughout the rev range. Acceleration is all about average torque production, and this is where positive displacement superchargers really shine: 80% of the maximum torque is available from as low as 2500 rpm all the way to the 7000 rpm redline. However, 300 horsepower in a front wheel-drive car means first and second gear is nearly unusable, even with new 215/45-17 Z-rated rubber. Power delivery comes on with a smooth and steady rush, like water through a firehose. Regrettably, the Ion is so fast that you can only legally touch the redline in the first two gears, as second winds out at 65mph. Third finishes up at a license-losing 100mph, and the top of fourth gets you 130mph and cigarettes on visitor's day. At 165mph, fifth gear is either a clean getaway or an early funeral.

SEEING RED

Unfortunately, the last two years haven't been all shifts and giggles. The intercooler pump, which circulates the coolant to keep the supercharger temps down, unexpectedly went out, although I suspect it was more the number of years as opposed to the miles that did it in. The factory Bosch pumps are notorious for the internal brushes getting gummed-up which causes them to fail. Interestingly, the RL uses the same intercooler pump as the Ford Lightning and the Mustang Cobra so it was much easier to pick one of them up for $100 instead of paying Saturn $335 for one. Unfortunately, someone at GM decided it would be smart to glue the clamps to the hose with the same industrial adhesive that is used on the Space Shuttle, so it was a real challenge removing it.

While swapping the factory downpipe in anticipation of installing the aftermarket catless one, I discovered that the rear 02 sensor was firmly entrenched and did not wish to be removed. Finally, after employing the use of a vice, it was discovered that the supercharged exhaust was so hot that it had melted the threads of the 02 sensor and was the reason it was seized in the exhaust pipe. Obviously, this necessitated a new $150 oxygen sensor before the RL would run again and it was quite a feat locating one two days before Christmas.

If that wasn't enough, the front driver-side Dunlop decided to blow-out last fall. Fortunately, I was leaving work when I discovered it due to the feeling of driving on a square tire. I pulled into a local tire shop and noticed that the inner sidewall had completely collapsed. Apparently, this is a common problem with the factory Dunlops so I rotated the rear tire to the front to keep the load off the tiny spare. And naturally, the tire shop did not have a suitable replacement so I was forced to commute home on the donut. A few days later, I sourced a temporary Goodyear replacement while I waited on the new ones to arrive. For $1000, I had four ultra-high performance B.F. Goodrich G-Force tires installed and aligned. They made an amazing difference in both the handling and ride-quality.

CONCLUSION

To the uneducated public, a high-performance Saturn is an oxymoron like "Congressional Ethics" or "Happily Married". In fact, when strangers approach me about my car, invariably the most asked question is about the rear suicide doors. They think it's the coolest thing. Granted, it's a neat feature and perfect for transporting my six year-old daughter, but what catches them off guard is when I mention that it has a supercharger and 300hp. The reaction is similar to a sudden onset of dementia as they struggle to comprehend the notion of a three-hundred horsepower Saturn. Occam's Razor states that Saturns are small, 100hp grocery-getters and that is largely how the car-buying demographic remembers them. Few recall or even knew about the other Saturn offerings such as the Astra subcompact, Aura sedan, Outlook SUV or Sky convertible.

Unfortunately, my Red Line is not inexpensive nor economical, things a Saturn is typically known for. However, it is a blast to drive and the siren-like whine of the supercharger never fails to put a grin on my face. I'll probably never see 100,000 miles in it, but I have enjoyed the smiles per gallon over the past two years. Last summer, I went as far west as Baton Rouge and exited the Louisiana Welcome Center faster than ever before in my life. And earlier this year, made two trips to Pensacola Beach in it. On the highway, it's as comfortable and quiet as a Honda Civic, easily up for a last-minute cross-country trek. And the 300hp is a non sequitur, like dating supermodel Petra Ecclestone and then discovering she's a billionaire heiress.

I don't know what the next two years will bring for the RL, but I'm certainly going along for the ride!

Aeroforce Interceptor Scan Gauge Review

As I mentioned in February's Blackstone Labs Oil Report, emerging technology is allowing enthusiasts to analyze and monitor their vehicles as never before. This month, I'll be covering the Aeroforce Technology Interceptor Scan Gauge. 

I first became acquainted with the Interceptor Scan Gauge twenty years ago when it was available for my Mustang GT. In those dark ages, it was a lot more cumbersome and a lot less sophisticated than the sleek 52mm gauge that is present today. The old unit was just slightly smaller than a woman's shoebox and featured black text on a gray background. The most useful function was the ability to advance or retard the timing on the Ford EEC-IV computer. Other than that, the unit was pretty rudimentary.

Aeroforce now offers the Interceptor's LED display in either white, red, blue or green and it comes with a white or black face plate and a brushed aluminum bezel.  I opted for the $10 silver face plate and the $10 polished silver bezel to better match it to my car's interior. Aeroforce also recommended a $10 Add-A-Circuit (which I picked up) but I found out that mine was able to draw its power through the OBD-II port so I didn't need it. As such, all I had to do was plug-in the supplied 9-foot cable and it was up and running.  There's even a nice customization feature whereby on start up, the Saturn logo is displayed. 

The current Interceptor (Firmware Version 2.8) serves duty in a variety of GM vehicles such as the Bonneville, Cobalt, Grand Prix, etc. and is infinitely customizable.  It is capable of displaying over 100 parameters, two at a time (8 using cyclic scan), at an adjustable rate of up to approximately 20 times per second. Naturally, this is information overload so I'll just cover the ones I use on a daily basis. 

The Interceptor features two buttons, both not much larger than the head of a ballpoint pen, on either side of the gauge that lets you toggle through the available menus. Slogging through all of them can make your head hurt, but I found some of the defaults to be way off. For instance, the Altitude was arbitrarily set as 1000-feet, which is about 900-feet too much.  This helps with the correction factor, but some of the readings such as Transmission Temp, are only available for vehicles with an automatic transmission. As such, my five-speed trans temp was reported as 65,000 degrees which might be accurate if I was driving on the surface of the sun. 

The Boost feature is one of the main things I bought the Interceptor for. While an analog gauge would be easier to read in bright sunlight, it requires a lot of extra legwork and cable splicing. With the Interceptor, it was as simple as plugging it in. On a third-gear highway pull, I saw a maximum of 12.7 PSI which is slightly better than the factory's rating of 12.0 PSI and something I attribute to the higher-flowing catless downpipe. 

It's also nice to be able to check and reset an engine diagnostic trouble code (DTC) on the fly with the Interceptor. For years, I've owned a handheld OBD-II scanner but it required the vehicle to be off and sometimes by then the code was lost. The Interceptor makes it extremely easy to view the code and clear it without stopping.   

   

I also like the Intake Air Temp (IAT) which displays the ambient air temperature. Most GM vehicles have a temperature feature, but for some reason it was not an option on the Red Line Edition. Additionally, the Interceptor features a post-intercooler Intake Air Temp 2 (IAT2) reading which is particularly useful for monitoring heat soak.  Typically, my IAT2 readings sit about 20 degrees higher than ambient as the Laminova air-to-water intercooler works to keep them down. However, spin up the supercharger and it throws off enough BTUs to instantly heat the air an additional 20-30 degrees.   

Another interesting parameter is the Instantaneous Fuel Economy. With it, I observed 29.1 mpg at a steady 70 mph but under full-throttle it plummeted to a staggering 5 mpg.  As such, it only takes a few full-throttle bursts to erode an otherwise impressive return at the high-octane pump.  And with the Miles Per Hour (MPH) and Engine Revolutions Per Minute (RPM) statistics, I've been able to verify that my analog speedometer and tachometer are dead on. I can even monitor my battery's voltage to warn me of an impending failure. 

There's also some esoteric information that I don't need to know such as Run Time Mins, which is the time in minutes the engine has been running. Chances are, I will already know this since I'm driving it, and it resets every time the car is started. The Total Misfires is similarly arcane-- it reports the misfires of all cylinders but then inexplicably resets every minute. So unless something catastrophic prompts you to check it right then, it's highly unlikely you will ever see whether your engine is experiencing them or not. Finally, the Engine Load is an intriguing aspect, because it illustrates the tangible strain various accessories have on the system. The biggest culprit is, of course, the air-conditioning which I've seen account for up to one-third of the total resources. Naturally, there are other energy offenders but the A/C is far and away the biggest reprobate, responsible for cannibalizing as much as 3 mpg when in use.  

So what are the drawbacks? Aside from the $250 price tag, I've found the Interceptor is practically useless in the mid-day sun when you're running errands or waiting in a fast food drive-thru. Even adjusting the brightness to the highest setting, and inverting the image from negative to positive, makes little difference.  Polarized sunglasses, such as my Serengeti Drivers, also effectively erase the legibility of the LCD screen. Clearly, it's easiest to read in low-light situations such as dawn and dusk when glare is kept to a minimum. Considering that, the Interceptor is excellent for Vampires and other creatures of the night.

There's also the problem with mounting it. Several aftermarket companies make A-pillar pods, but putting it there not only hurts visibility, but also looks like something you might find in a riced-out import. And others place it in a dash vent, where hot air can unintentionally damage it. For those reasons, I went with a custom-made pod from JCS Gauge Pods that mounts on the steering column and the Ion's unique, center-mounted instrument cluster is ideal for this. Jason Summerhays specially makes each gauge pod from an actual Saturn Ion steering column cover so the finished product is truly OEM quality. It looks and fits perfectly, unlike cheaper reproductions that require tape to hold them in place. 

After getting accustomed to it, you'll wonder how you ever did without it. Honestly, I use it more than anything else in my car. And with true plug-and-play operation, the installation couldn't be any easier. However, if you do plan on purchasing one, I'd recommend buying from an authorized dealer and not directly from Aeroforce. Not only can you get a small price break, but you'll more than likely get better customer service as Aeroforce never responded to my emails.    

Blackstone Labs Oil Analysis

As cars have become more sophisticated in the past decade, so have the instruments by which we can assess them. A good case in point is my dyno test which allowed me to precisely measure how much horsepower my Red Line was making. Another good tool for evaluating the overall health of the engine is an analysis of the motor oil. Similar to a blood test, this report highlights any abnormalities found in the oil sample. For instance, antifreeze could indicate a coolant leak from a cracked engine block or head gasket, while high levels of aluminum or iron might be indicative of excessive wear. Spotting either of these early could potentially save a catastrophic engine repair in the future. In fact, the U.S. Air Force so believes in this that every military aircraft has an oil sample done before each flight.

Additionally, Blackstone Labs will also gauge the remaining active additives present in the oil, determining whether you should shorten or lengthen the oil change intervals. This is important because advances in engines as well as motor oil mean that 3,000-mile oil changes are as antiquated as square wheels. It also makes some sense of the debate between trusting the vehicle's oil life monitor versus going with a longer duration oil like Mobil 1's 15,000-mile Extended Performance product.

In the report below, engine wear is expressed as the presence of metals, with a higher percentage equating to more wear. Compared against the database of other 2.0-liter Ecotec supercharged engines, my sample indicated lower levels of all the elements except Molybdenum and Magnesium. Fortunately, this is no cause for concern as Molybdenum is typically used as a anti-wear/anti-scuff additive while Magnesium is a common detergent and dispersant additive. Ideally, higher percentages of these two compounds are beneficial.

Both viscosity tests were right at, or exceeded maximum parameters, meaning minimal flow was lost to shearing forces. The Flashpoint is the temperature at which the oil sample will combust, with anything above 355 being acceptable. This indicates the presence of fuel so a higher number such as my 425 is better. Overall, fuel only made up 0.5% of the sample which is good considering heavy idling and short trips can encourage raw fuel to work past the piston rings and into the crankcase. From there, it dilutes the oil and acts as a solvent, partially washing away the critical oil film and increasing wear between parts.

The 0.2% Insolubles, well below the 0.6% threshold, represents the total volume present in the sample. Typically, this is composed of carbon from the combustion chamber, oxidation of the oil, and dirt sucked in through the engine's intake system. With a high-flow K&N air filter, it's nice to know that more air does not necessarily mean more dirt is entering the engine.

Finally, the Total Base Number (TBN) is the acid-neutralizing efficiency of the oil. Since high-acidity is a byproduct of the combustion process, a higher TBN means more protection. Virgin oil can fluctuate between a TBN of 10-14 so my reading of 6.9 after 5,000 miles is extremely good.

Overall, I couldn't be more pleased with the results of my first oil report and I'm eager to test my wife's vehicle next.

Highway to Hell: Supercharged Saturn vs. Mystery Honda

The Monday after Black Friday, which I like to call "Broke Monday" due to my wife's spending habits on the weekend following Thanksgiving, was winding down as I drove out of the bank parking lot and pointed my Saturn south like some great migratory metallic bird. A suffocating gray blanket of rain and wind had covered the coast for the past few days but it was finally beginning to break. Up ahead, a dying sun was casting its final few rays across the horizon.

DING! DING! DING!

The noise startled me out of my daydreaming stupor and I immediately looked over at the instrument panel. The "LOW FUEL" message was flashing angrily at me as if I was criminally negligent for not refilling it sooner. But as I would shortly learn, this was extremely fortuitous. So I pulled around in an anonymous leaf-littered driveway and reversed my direction, now heading to the nearest Chevron station. On this particular afternoon, the normally-bustling gas stop was bizarrely vacant and devoid of any activity. It was as if some super-flu had wiped out all traces of life and I was the last person on earth. However, the fact that premium unleaded was still $3.50 per gallon assuaged my fears that I was not alone and that civilization was still very much alive and kicking.

As I was pumping 93 octane at the obscene rate of something like twenty-five dollars per minute, I surveyed the sky above the tree tops. True enough, the rain was leaving but only because it was yielding to a massive cold-front that would plunge the temperature into the twenties. It was so frigid, in fact, that snow was forecasted for areas only a couple hundred miles north of the steamy Gulf.

My train-of-thought was suddenly derailed by the aural assault of something small and red hitting the interstate apex across the highway. It was a Honda Civic and the owner was driving as if he was qualifying for the Indy 500. He flew down the street beside me, completely ignorant of the danger he was posing to other motorists, with the exhaust shrieking like a weed-whacker gone wild.

"If you're going to race around like that, you'd better be able to back it up" I muttered to myself. Still, I knew he'd be long gone by the time I finished filling my thirteen gallon tank.

After a seeming eternity, the fuel dispenser clicked-off and I began screwing the gas cap back on as quickly as possible to escape the North Wind's icy scythe.

Just then, the red Civic darted past again and I knew I had a very narrow window of opportunity to catch him.

Naturally, the previously deserted convenience store began filling with other automobiles, all of whom were acting as moving chicanes in my attempt to extricate myself.

I whipped out of the Chevron parking lot and ran straight up on two vehicles in front of me. Further ahead, the scarlet Civic was crossing the center divider and heading west. He was still driving like a madman and that was making it even harder for me to pursue him, never mind catch him.

Once I reached the main highway, my eagerness got the best of me and I attempted to accelerate a little too enthusiastically. The front wheels spun like slot machine reels and I lost precious time.

Moments later, I caught sight of him again just as he was overtaking two slower cars a half-mile ahead. But by now, I was in fifth gear and determined to bridge the gap. I stole a quick glance at the speedometer, and without even trying, noticed I was already cracking a buck twenty. It was clearly automotive roulette-- I was hedging my bets that the next hill I crested would not have a State Trooper or Sheriff on the other side. At the rate of speed I was traveling, they wouldn't need a radar gun reading to throw me under the jail.

Up ahead, the Honda was diving for an exit with a couple of pickup trucks dawdling along behind it.

By the time I made it to the exit, I glanced both ways but could not see the errant Civic. I looked again and spotted a small crimson dot quickly vanishing on the horizon. Obviously, it was the opposite direction I needed to go but after all I had been through, I decided I couldn't throw in the towel now. I grabbed first gear and blasted off after him in a pallid haze of tire smoke and spent exhaust.

In front of me, the pristine four-lane thoroughfare unfurled like two endless ribbons of black velvet. It was one of the newest highways in the state and was smoother than Lafitte Foie Gras. It was also surprisingly empty which would make my highway showdown a lot easier.

I had the Civic in my sights and was drawing closer. He was running a steady eighty so I pushed the RL beyond a hundred a couple times to ultimately catch him.

A burnt orange serape was settling over the countryside as the last streams of light filtered through the long-leaf pines. At last, I was just a couple car-lengths behind and closing fast. I could distinctly tell by the body style that it looked to be a seventh generation Civic produced between 2001-2005. It was not the jellybean-shaped Si model that boasted a 160hp engine but rather the much more pedestrian EX with 127hp.

And in a garish display of taste (or lack thereof) the Civic was plastered with two-feet tall black letters that looked to be stolen from a roadside attraction sign. "CIVIC" was splashed across the back end while "VTEC" stretched the length of the driver's side door. Judging by the graffiti-sized text, I deduced the owner was either extremely juvenile or visually-impaired.

As I passed him, I looked over but could only make out a shadowy profile behind the deeply-tinted windows. I expected him to give chase but I think he was more bewildered by the personal affront than anything. I traveled a couple hundred feet ahead and he hung back, as if silently studying the silver interloper in front of him.

Given the fact that less than 6,900 Red Lines were produced between 2004-2007, I figured there was probably a good chance he didn't know what the hell he was looking at. Sure, he could read the "SATURN" inscribed on the rear bumper and see the "ION" badge on the trunk, but I'm fairly certain he missed the discrete Red Line insignia which is not much bigger than a postage stamp. Unlike him, I chose not to advertise the fact that a supercharged engine with 265-horses was spinning under the hood. No tacky graphics, garish vanity plate, or Starbucks-sized exhaust tip would sully the appearance of my car.

Finally, he took the bait and began closing in for the (presumed) kill. I decelerated and dropped from fifth to fourth, and then to third, at around 65 mph. As he pulled alongside, I wondered if I should do a three-honk countdown but decided against it. Instead, with the drop of my right Rockport I flattened the throttle and the race was on!

Almost instantly, I heard the Honda respond but my Eaton supercharger was furiously converting the altered atmosphere into forward momentum and I surged ahead. As I looked in the rear view mirror, the embattled Civic was dropping further and further back. There was also a thick, black cloud developing behind the Honda that I guessed was the engine running richer than Donald Trump.

Third gear redlined around 100 mph and I was so far out in front that I lazily shifted into fifth gear. But when I looked back, I noticed the oily plume had blossomed behind the hapless Honda and was growing larger every second. Furthermore, the Civic was drifting toward the shoulder as if no longer operating under its own power. It was then that I began to surmise something was amiss and I reflected back on a televised Formula 1 race when an engine imploded in a very similar fashion.

Anti-climatic? Absolutely.

Disappointing? Definitely.

A case of premature acceleration? Maybe.

There was a u-turn available so I slowed and swung around. As I passed the luckless Civic, I could see the hood was up. The owner was peering intently into the engine bay as if concentrating hard enough might miraculously revive the car. I briefly contemplated stopping but realized there was nothing I could do. These days, everyone has a cell phone and a friend or tow-truck is just a call away.

Instead, I reflected on what had just happened. Honda engines are arguably some of the toughest on earth. They have rev-limiters and fuel cut-offs to prevent such damage. Usually, when a part fails in an engine the injury is transparent from the outside. Something BIG had to go wrong to create that Hiroshima-sized mushroom cloud.

Unfortunately, it was too dark and I didn't race him long enough to garner any tell-tale signs of what grenaded the motor. However, I'm fairly certain some type of forced induction was required to achieve that level of destruction. If it was nitrous, I didn't see him purge, but it is the least expensive and most volatile of power-adders. Then again, a turbocharger could have perforated a piston but I never heard a blow-off valve, something the ricer set is usually pretty quick to broadcast.

In street-racing parlance, a "kill" is when one car is defeated by another. And in this instance, I truly "killed" that Honda. Regrettably, it only makes the possibilities even more tantalizing as I can't help but wonder how the race would have turned out otherwise.