Little Red Corvette

Although we all know Prince's Little Red Corvette from his "1999" album is not actually about a car, I still couldn't resist using that song title as it's so appropriate for the Corvette I drove recently. The occasion was East Central's Homecoming parade on September 27th and Victoria was eligible to ride in it since she won "Tiny Miss Hurley 2012" at Old-Fashion Day. I had contemplated using the del Sol but it really wasn't suitable since it's a targa top, and not a true convertible. Fortunately, my brother-in-law's father graciously volunteered the use of his red 1999 Corvette convertible.  

The fifth-generation Corvette, or C5 as it is commonly called, was built from 1997-2004 and to my eyes looks much better than the more-angular current model. The deep-red, sweeping front fenders and signature hidden headlights make it look like it should be wearing a prancing horse emblem instead of a bowtie. In comparison, the C6 has exposed headlamps which don't look quite as exotic. 

Despite driving a lot of performance cars in my life, I've had surprisingly little experience with Corvettes. In college, my girlfriend's mother owned a black '74 Stingray, but I hadn't driven another Corvette since then. Truthfully speaking, the Stingray wasn't anything to brag about as it was very hot, loud, and always breaking down. In what could be considered heresy in the Corvette cult, she traded it in on a Lincoln Towncar.  

At an Auto-Show in 1993, I sat in a new LT1 Corvette and was instantly turned-off by the hard, low seating and the worst visibility this side of a Sherman Tank. Since that time, I've held a preconceived notion that all Corvettes were similarly uncomfortable. So, there was some trepidation as I slid into the black leather seat and proceeded to start the car. The first thing I noticed was that, like Porsches, the ignition is actually on the dash instead of the steering column. I twisted the key and the V8 instantly fired up with a familiar rumble. It settled into a steady idle and I was surprised by how quite it was. There was barely a burble from the four exhaust pipes protruding out from under the license plate. Clearly, the factory exhaust hadn't been touched, right down to the stock catalytic converters.

I grabbed the thick leather-wrapped shifter and pulled it back into reverse. The venerable 4L60-E automatic transmission engaged with a heavy, solid clunk and the Corvette began easing backwards.  After a few feet, I shifted into drive and pulled onto the highway. At low-revs and part-throttle, it felt surprisingly civil and (almost) ordinary. Prior to pick-up, the owner had admonished my wife to exercise caution because he said the rear-end could step-out in the blink of an eye. He clarified that he wasn't so much worried about the car getting hurt as he was my seven year-old daughter. However, in my time with it, I discovered that only with the most careless application of the throttle could the car become dangerous.

Although standard on my 2006 Ion Redline, the C5 was the first Corvette to incorporate a drive-by-wire throttle and speed-sensitive steering. Around some low-speed curves, it felt remarkably stable and planted, and it's no wonder with the nearly ten-inch wide 275/40 ZR-18 tires on the back. Originally, all C5s came with Goodyear Eagle Run-Flat tires which were intended more for weight-savings than performance. On this car, they had been replaced by grippy Nitto tires which I'm sure helped the acceleration and handling even more. 

 

The heart of any Corvette is always the engine, and the C5 was the last to have a small-block 350 under the clamshell hood. Despite the low-tech, overhead-valve design, the pushrod V8 still manages to crank out 345 horsepower at 5600rpm and 350 lb-ft torque at 4400rpm. And thanks to extensive use of composite fiberglass, magnesium wheels, and even balsa wood in the floor boards, the weight is kept at a relatively svelte 3,282 lbs. That low-mass gives it a 0-60 sprint of 4.9 seconds as well as a quarter-mile time of around 13.2 seconds at 109 mph. Top speed of the convertible has been observed by Car and Driver as 160mph, though truthfully you probably wouldn't want to go more than 125mph with the top down. Regardless, those are world-class numbers and despite being more than a decade old, still in line with what a 2013 Camaro SS or Mustang 5.0 will run right off the showroom floor. 

               

With the shiny red paint and just 87,000 miles on the odometer, the Corvette had obviously been well-cared for. And from afar it might even be mistaken for a new model. But one thing's for sure, and that is everyone loves a red Corvette convertible. Whether I was at the high school, the coffee shop, or the Lotta Burger parking lot, it never failed to draw a crowd. As I was driving it home after picking it up, my neighbor who never speaks suddenly shouted "Nice car!" and waiting in the parade line-up, an East Central freshman admitted that it was his dream car. Two teenagers even drove 100mph in their V6 Mustang to catch me for a closer look. There's also the Corvette cachet whereby passing Corvette owners give a friendly wave and smile. Similarly, traffic-blocking maneuvers that would normally elicit an angry honk and a raised middle finger from other motorists are replaced with unprecedented patience and courtesy.  

The afternoon was particularly hot for late September and the parade route entailed roughly three miles through downtown Hurley at nothing more than 5 mph with frequent stops. I cautiously eyed the temperature gauge the entire time but it thankfully never got above 230 degrees (with a redline at 260). However, the cooling fans operated almost constantly and the carpeted transmission tunnel that runs between the two seats radiated enough BTUs to bake a Thanksgiving turkey. Granted, it's kind of crazy to run the air-conditioning in a convertible, but with the ambient temperature in the high 80s and the transmission tunnel doubling as a space heater, I sure thought about it.   

On the highway, with room to run, the Corvette is a red rocket. Plant the throttle at 60mph and the 4L60-E automatic responds with a sledgehammer blow that sends the car hurtling forward. However, the brilliant red paint also makes it as conspicuous around Hurley as a U.F.O. so prudence is advised. The Corvette is actually more fun in town where its tugboat-torque makes for neck-snapping acceleration. The steamroller rear tires dig in and the car shoots ahead like a NFL field-goal kick. 

The Vette really is an everyday exotic. It's sacrilege to admit, but after a few minutes of driving it, you completely forget about the flashy exterior. The seats are comfortable, the driving position is good, and there is ample leg-room. Personally, I've never been a fan of chrome wheels, but they complement the Corvette's flamboyant character. And on this car they look much better than the popular powder-coated or anodized wheels. Visually speaking, perhaps the only thing I'd change is the quadruple tail pipes. I like them, but I'm not fond of the bare stainless steel finish. They definitely could use some chrome tips. The Corvette was also largely trouble-free, except for an episode in my garage when the pop-up headlights wanted to do just that. They seemingly had a mind of their own and it didn't matter if I turned the headlights on or off. Finally, I coaxed them down but I wondered it if was a recurring problem?  

The evening sun was setting and it was time for me to return the Corvette. Despite spending just the afternoon with it, my wife, daughter and I had all grown attached to it. "Daddy, can we keep it?" my daughter asked innocently, as if inquiring about a lost puppy she'd just found.  I laughed and tried to explain to her that as a family, we needed a vehicle with more than two seats and a tiny trunk. But I understood what she was feeling, because I felt the same fondness for it. The Corvette might be the quintessential American sports car, but it's also a great car in general. And if it just happened to have four seats, it would be perfect.