Six Appeal
Pirate Press October 2021
I've long remarked in these pages how time seems to fly and such a statement appears more relevant now than ever. Just a year ago, we collectively couldn't wait to dispense with 2020, but in what feels like the blink of an eye, 2021 is suddenly drawing to a close.
So, with 2022 on the horizon that means it's also time to recap my first year of Fusion ownership. 12 months with it is four times longer than I owned the Ferrari and equal to my tenure with the Corvette. It's also puzzling to some people how I went from both of those sports cars to a sports sedan. One friend (okay, he's a foodie) equated it to starting out with a Filet Mignon and ending up with a salad. But to use his own simile, I was quick to point out that the leafy greens are clearly a better choice than artery-clogging red meat.
But in a bizarre sort of way, it also sums up (hopefully once and for all) why I chose to settle down with the Fusion. The Ford is definitely, er healthier, than a Corvette or Ferrari particularly for my psyche and bank account. Over the past 12,000 miles and 12 months, the only mechanical failure has been a new battery. And as the original one was 7 years old, I couldn't fault it as most fail within half that time. The only downside was an uncooperative Ford dealer who wouldn't fit me in to replace it, so I ended up with a new Diehard battery from Advance Auto. Apparently, the old battery had been on its way out for some time— the Fusion now starts as fast as if I'd swapped a disk drive for a solid state one.
And as my bad luck would have it, my windshield was cracked this Spring by an errant highway rock. I simply shook my head at the cosmic odds involved that allowed my Saturn to travel 10 years and cover 100,000 miles without a single stone chip, but my Fusion got one after just 6 months and 6,000 miles. Fortunately, the star-shaped pit was hardly larger than a pin-head and didn't spread. My insurance picked up the $75 repair bill to fill-in the spot and it's all but invisible now.
Shortly thereafter, it was also time for the Fusion's first oil change, a task I was not enthused about due to the cumbersome underbody cover. I first noticed these unwieldy enclosures on my Red Line, but as the oil filter was on top of the block, it didn't interfere with my changing it. However, it popped up later on my wife's 2015 Hyundai and is now on my Fusion, so there's clearly no escaping them. I understand the engineering and principal behind it as it helps straighten and smooth under car airflow. But if you're doing it in your driveway like I am, it adds a lot of unnecessary labor and frustration.
For that reason, I finally broke down and bought a pair of ramps, rather than continue to risk it with a pair of wobbly tire jacks like I've been doing for the past 25 years. Of course, it was no substitution for a real lift, but it did make the dreaded procedure considerably less painful.
I heavily debated the use of full synthetic versus semi-synthetic motor oil, and after much research, finally decided that for a naturally aspirated engine like my 3.5 V6, Ford's Synthetic Blend was more than adequate. After all, the 3.0 V6 in our Ford Freestyle was a close cousin and it went 150,000 trouble-free miles on the same Motorcraft oil.
Yet the most baffling part is how the Fusion's 213 cubic inch V6 requires just 5 quarts of oil but my 122 cubic inch four-cylinder Saturn needed 7 quarts. Aside from that, I was rather chagrined to find a "MicroGard" oil filter, a brand I was admittedly not familiar with. Since the oil was changed prior to my purchase of the car, I can only assume that the dealership was responsible for the O'Reilly's oil filter.
Regardless, even after removing the under car tray, changing the Fusion's oil was still much easier than the sadistic Saturn which required (among other things) a 9" deep socket wrench and unbolting the intercooler fill tube. Finally, my Fusion's Cyclone V6 runs so cleanly that for the first month the oil wasn't even dirty enough to spot on the dipstick. Although I had refilled the crankcase with the specified amount, it nonetheless led to a lot of anxiety over whether I needed to add more or not? I trusted the process and eventually the oil level became visible, but of all the cars I've owned, this was definitely a first.
And the Fusion was also my first car I've ever had to worry about "Swollen Nuts" on— an affliction that sounds like something a urologist, not a mechanic, should examine. Thankfully, it didn't have anything to do with "Blue Balls" but rather was a case of Ford using cheap, plastic-capped lug nuts. To future-proof this problem from ever happening again, I replaced them with "White Knights" that were carved from cold-forged and heat-treated steel with a triple chrome plating.
I suppose what makes the Fusion so enjoyable on a daily basis is that it's full of practical, ergonomically designed items that compliment the driving experience instead of detracting from it. In short, the Fusion adapts to the driver, the driver doesn't have to adapt to it. Both the Corvette and Ferrari had their fuel filler door releases hidden under the center console lid and it was a pain just to access them. The 360 required more contorting and twisting than a Cirque Du Soleil dancer to reach it, and the Corvette's never wanted to open or close smoothly, like it was constantly catching on something. But undoubtedly the most useful item on the Fusion is the sliding sun visor, something the Ferrari or Corvette didn't possess. It might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but driving to work daily with the sun rising and setting on my side certainly makes me grateful for it. The 360's sun visor, albeit upholstered in beautiful British Connolly leather, wasn't large enough to actually be effective. And the Corvette's was so stiff and creaky that I actually feared it might snap off, so I simply squinted the entire time.
Also, and in what may be the most unusual compliment I've ever applied to a car, I had to remark about how sumptuous the Fusion's headrests are. Granted, the leather is probably the least soft of any car I've ever owned, due to the necessary need for durability. Yet, somehow the headrest is like a fluffy cloud that reminds me of my La-Z-Boy recliner. Illustrating that more expensive isn't necessarily better, the Ferrari's carbon fiber sport seats were a $25,000 option and they didn't even include a separate headrest!
As for other cosmetic issues, they're been a few which I suppose I can blame on climate change. The sun and heat have been so relentless this summer that it faded my black antennae to a bizarre bronzed color, and the excessive interior temperatures caused the mirror to completely detach from the windshield. Initially, I believed I could drive without a rear-view mirror and I probably could have had the backup camera not been integrated into it. Admittedly, I've become rather spoiled on that device as the Fusion is the first vehicle I've owned that has it. So, it was another trip to my local glass shop to professionally reattach it, which thankfully cost just $20.
BELOW: The Torque Solutions anodized finish didn't even last one summer in Mississippi's brutal heat. Hopefully, the new Steeda aluminum antenna fares better.
And speaking of saving money (which admittedly doesn't get mentioned much in these articles) I've calculated that over the past year I've banked $500 thanks to using regular fuel instead of the pricey premium gas that my Saturn required. Of course, I'm leaving some horsepower on the table by choosing 87 octane over 93, but if gas prices do ever come back down, I might be swayed to get that tune after all.
In that regard, I've felt like the stock Motorcraft engine air filter was pretty restrictive so I decided to take the plunge and go with an aftermarket one to celebrate the Fusion's first birthday and the arrival of cooler autumn temps. But after the expensive problems using one on our Freestyle, I was dead set against another K&N. Luckily, I stumbled upon Advanced Flow Engineering (aFe) and their "dry" filter which unlike K&N requires no oil whatsoever and won't damage the MAF meter. Additionally, aFe is an American company and all their products are designed and manufactured at their headquarters in Corona, California. One of their many steps they take to ensure proper fit, finish and quality is their urethane casting. And they are one of the only aftermarket filter companies to use a specially designed comb that prevents the urethane from leaking down into the filter element. One some other brands— K&N included— the urethane drips down into the filter and blocks airflow. Independent tests show the Pro Dry filter as flowing 70% better than the stock paper element with a 99.2% filtration efficiency. Of course, the aFe filter is slightly more expensive than a comparable K&N, but it was easy to justify with the better performance and no need to ever re-oil it. The only downside was limited availability as the two nearest dealers where either in Lafayette, Louisana or Destin, Florida. As such, I didn't have the immediate gratification of walking into my local auto parts store and picking it up like I could do with K&N.
BELOW: The gunmetal gray aFe looks and flows much better than the stock Ford air filter.
After dinner one evening, we walked out of the Half Shell Oyster House in Mobile and I spotted a curious car with an identity crisis. It had originally left the factory as a 1991 Acura NSX but somewhere in the past thirty years those lines had blurred. In today's terminology, it might be referred to as transgender— how else to explain a Japanese sports car festooned with a Lamborghini emblem and yellow fender badges like a Ferrari? Further marring the appearance was a hideous black stripe up the front of the car and tiny black winglets on the rear spoiler. The calipers were painted urine yellow and gaudy aftermarket wheels rounded out the "drug dealer" aesthetic. Underscoring the car's confusion was a Texas inspection sticker and a Georgia license plate with a Disability Exemption.
I cringed, wondering if the owner actually thought someone might truly believe it was a Lamborghini? Regardless, it was a terrible waste of an otherwise once-great car. When the NSX debuted in 1990, it was the first exotic that was comfortable and reliable enough for daily use and pristine examples are now fetching $100,000. That made it all the funnier that my humble Fusion Sport matches—and in some areas exceeds—Honda's first supercar.
Despite the two-seater NSX being the first mass-produced vehicle with an all-aluminum body, and the Fusion's inclusion of heavy modern conveniences and safety features, the Ford still competitively sits within 10% of the Acura's curb weight (3,300 lbs vs. 3,000). Similarly, the NSX has comparatively tiny 15" front wheels and 16" rear wheels compared to the Fusion's stickier 18" rubber. Finally, the Ford's 3.5 V6 is 30 cubic inches larger than the Acura's 3.0 V6, which almost erases the edge of the NSX's Formula One-derived powertrain with final output being 270 to 265. Yet even being down 5-hp, the Blue Oval's engine makes maximum power 1000-rpm sooner and 40 more torque 2000-rpm earlier. This translates to the Fusion's better performance and faster response on the street.
And speaking of street racing, this article wouldn't be complete without me recounting a recent highway encounter I had with a 2000-era V8 Dodge Ram. I had volunteered to pick up Pizza Hut for dinner, so I was taking the back way into Hurley, rather than sticking to the four-lane as I usually do. I was stuck behind a ratty, maroon Ram for a couple miles when it slowed in front of me. I saw the car in front of it turn so I figured now would be a good time to pass him. But as I swung out to pass, he gunned it in an attempt to hold me off, perhaps hoping that with the approaching bridge and curve I would be forced to drop back. A lesser person would have probably exercised better judgement and waited for the next straightaway before attempting to pass, but as my wife will attest, God never granted me much patience.
Admittedly, the Dodge driver had caught me flat-footed so I had to bury the throttle to overcome his advantage while also navigating the rain-slicked bridge and curve that was rapidly approaching. An isolated summer shower had blown through the area earlier and the road was still wet from it. It was far from optimal conditions, but I was already committed to it so there was no backing off.
I entered the curve and bridge around 90 mph, feathering the throttle, and being careful not to make any sudden inputs that would upset the balance of the car. Thankfully, the new Goodyears didn't slip and held on, but I was going about 40 mph faster than was prudent. And as soon as the road straightened back out, I relentlessly poured on the speed to really bury him. A couple seconds later, I saw that he was a good half-mile back so I eased off the throttle and watched the speedometer start dropping below 120 mph. Following that, I maintained a steady pace between 80-90 mph to ensure that he never caught back up. At the end of the day, I had to admire his spirit, but he apparently never learned that you don't bring a knife to a gunfight!
In my last article, I mentioned how unusual it is for me to spot another V6 Fusion on the highway. However, I didn't understand how rare they really were until I did a nationwide search. Unbelievably, the entire six-cylinder line represents just 3.3% of all available Fusions. And my Sport model is an even tinier segment, accounting for just a handful of the 84 cars available. Secondly, of the couple Sport models I've seen for sale and on the highway, none were even close to the low mileage or pristine condition of mine. In fact, the highest mileage I've seen is 202,000, which certainly bodes well for the longevity of mine, although I definitely won't be keeping it that long.
But in case I do sell it, it's nice to see that the Chinese chip shortage has significantly increased my equity. Despite it being 12 months older and with an additional 10,000 miles on it, it's worth considerably more now than what I paid for it a year ago. Below is the same year model as mine, but in Black, and going for $20K.
Finally, it struck me as funny that one afternoon I was cleaning the Fusion when my elderly next door neighbor suddenly shouted across the yard that it looked good. I was so perplexed that I immediately dropped the water hose and beat a hasty retreat inside. There, I took my frustration out on Amanda by furiously bombarding her with questions like how have we lived there for three years and he never once mentioned anything about the Ferrari or Corvette!?! Or how in that time span could he have never noticed either car, but suddenly spotted the Fusion as if it just mysteriously appeared like an alien spacecraft??? He's always outside doing septuagenarian stuff like spreading fertilizer or building bird feeders so I know he saw them.
The only satisfying conclusion I could draw was that given the distance and that all three are roughly the same shade of dark red, he might have thought it was the same car all along. Granted, he is pretty old, has terrible eyesight and drives a 2010 Nissan Sentra so he's clearly not a car enthusiast.
At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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